27 August 2007
Why you should never cry “taranatula.”
Posted by Toner under: Life and Family .
Last Halloween, a milestone was reached in my relationship with my wife. You know those little plastic pumpkins that can double as a trick or treat carrier for kids? Well we had them all over the house as a decoration, and I notice that the cats were particularly interested in the one that was in our family room…
This sort of interest usually signals that some sort of critter has found its way into our house, so I promptly walked over to see what they had trapped inside said plastic pumpkin.
Ok, here’s where things get interesting…
I flipped the plastic pumpkin over and saw a spider. Now normally the spider to cat ratio in our house is something like this (please refer to the informative info graph featuring a line art representation of our cat Naz):
Okay, so, being a little caught by surprise (as the spider was a little bigger than usual) I kind of reacted like the spider to cat ratio was more like this:
I know this because apparently I actually uttered the phrase “Holy crap it’s a tarantula,” and proceeded to jump back about ten feet. Actually to hear my wife tell it, I really acted like this was under there:
Ever since then, to mock me, my wife will randomly blurt out with what is commonly understood in our house as an impression of my voice from that day saying, “It’ a tarantula!!!! It’s a tarantula.”
Okay, so, last night, I’m laying face down on the couch, watching TV, and she starts doing “the voice,” but she’s yelling, It’s a bat, it’s bat, there’s something in the house.”
So, recognizing “the tarantula voice,” I proceed to remain in couch potato mode. Well, out of the corner of my eye I catch this black shape swing by. And I think “oh, there’s a moth in here and she’s pretending to be me over-reacting like I did with the spider.”
Then I notice both our cats run full speed out of the room… Promptly followed by my wife.
Well, then the bat, yes it was a bat, does a low dive right at my head.
The next few moments were a Keystone Cops montage of comedy that nearly ended with me putting a spaghetti strainer on my head (I later decided not to) of my wife and I getting brooms and shooing the little flying critter out the back door and out into the lawn.
There’s a moral here somewhere… I’m not exactly sure what it is, but I’m think we’ve all learned an important lesson… or something…
5 Comments so far...
Mike Says:
30 August 2007 at 4:40 am.
The moral is: bats are creepy and need to remain outdoors. I had the same thing happen to me here… except the bat landed on my leg, clinging to my sweat pants with its little bat claws, which did at least make it easy to catch.
admin Says:
30 August 2007 at 12:35 pm.
Did you happen to notice the teeth on those those things? They are ENORMOUS… They are like little flying sharks… like flying mouse-sharks. Killer flying mouse sharks…
Mike Says:
1 September 2007 at 6:13 am.
Classic! I stand by my theory that having big teeth and wings should be mutually exclusive; no creature should have both.
Benai Says:
5 October 2007 at 10:29 am.
What doesn’t kill you makes you funnier!
Lisa Monro Says:
10 October 2007 at 5:26 am.
Classic…love it. Love Shannon more!
